I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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