I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
accomplished twins. life is a go
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
