I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Randomize
