You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
