I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
