she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize