is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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