dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize