it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think people are normalizing furries
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