Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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