god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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