What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize