she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
