i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
