Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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