i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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