I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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