I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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