seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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