If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
