so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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