i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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