i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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