so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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