I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
