I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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