Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
