HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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