a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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