oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
