Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
