P.S. I can't hear my feet
there was a trapeze. enough said
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
