This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
