you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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