ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
