i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
