i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
