Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
