yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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