if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
