Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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