I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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