No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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