They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize