Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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