Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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