I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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