Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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