it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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