Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
