I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
