YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
