marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
