This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
