he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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