He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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