I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize