So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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