During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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