How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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