I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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