The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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