All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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