so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
