My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
