I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
