think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
