ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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