I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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