I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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