If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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