Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
