I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
